she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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