His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
