i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
