I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
