somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you're hired as official boob wrangler
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize