My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
