Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
