guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize