come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Randomize
