I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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