He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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