Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
