think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
