And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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