I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize