i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think my moral compass just broke
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
