She announced her abortion via fbk
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
