I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
