I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize