remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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