dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We have so much sex to catch up on
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
