i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
