my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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