My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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