Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
