ugly people sure do ruin things
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
