guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
