the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't deserve a penis
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
