Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize