is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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