Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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