Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
