Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
