I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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