the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
