garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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