Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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