I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Everything about him screamed your future.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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