The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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