I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
