Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
