I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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