How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
