guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
