Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
