Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
