Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
