is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
