Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
