My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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