No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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