Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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