I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
