You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
