i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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