i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
