I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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