he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I understand Curling. That high.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
