I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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