i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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