I just threw up on my dentist
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sorry about my life...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize