You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
