Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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