I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
