I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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