i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
