her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
