put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
