why didn't you poke me back
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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