oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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