I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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